five everyday problems i face as a new yorker

7:18 PM

Sometimes when I'm sitting on the subway, a revelation occurs and I immediately start writing in the notes on my phone. In this particular situation, I was lugging a few pairs of shoes home from my office, cold from the outside but sweating from the crowded subway, and the talking points came flooding in. New York brings out the worst and the best of everybody I've ever met in this town - here are some trigger points that bring out the worst in me:

1. Carrying shit. Do you truly feel like a New Yorker if you’re not lugging something super inconvenient and abnormally out of place to or from work at least a couple days a week? How about the arm cramp or sore shoulders from simply attempting to get your groceries home?

2. Package delivery. As noted above, I’m usually carrying something weird to or from work. Why? Packages usually get stolen from my building lobby (one day I’ll have a doorman) so I get them delivered to my office. Missing a delivery and figuring out which post office to retrieve it from, on a date/time when they’re open only to lug it home from the post office anyway isn’t really an option. 

3. Subway etiquette. Do people read signs? I don’t understand how pole huggers, headphone blarers, leg spreaders, speakerphone talkers and backpack wearers don’t get screamed at on the daily. If I had a more intimidating look, I’d probably lose my voice before I getting to work everyday.

4. Walking etiquette. I think a special lasso system should be designed for groups who take over the entire sidewalk. Your typical suspects are tourists and kids, and it would be nice to wrangle them into the tight little group they need to be arranged in so I can get to my destination. Let’s get in sidewalk formation, y’all. 

5. Cash only. AREN'T WE IN 2018? Why do I still need cash like, everywhere in New York?!


Photos by Zafi Ahmed

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