1:15 PM

This Friday doesn’t feel like a Friday. I woke up far too early this morning as my mind was wildly shifting through last night’s events and it wouldn’t let me drift back to sleep. All I wanted to do was snuggle under the covers with my cat. I wanted to listen to the rain all day and binge watch Netflix and order Chinese food and play with my records and make long lists so I could check off the boxes. Instead I forced myself to snag a shower before my roommate and put too much eyeshadow on and ventured off into the rain. The subway was almost empty. I could have slept at the office. When I sat down in my chair it felt like I hadn’t left last night. I would have preferred that. To have simply skipped over a good 12 hours of my brain wrecking itself to exhaustion. To have never let you ruin the good company I was enjoying. 

I turned myself around mid-morning. I bought new headphones and took a short walk to test the sound. I drowned in HAIM and The National and let the rain fall on my hair. I returned to a poem that my friend wrote for me and a phone call from my sister. You picked at the scab but it feels fine because now I know I’m haunting you too.

Grey Shift Dress: Tobi
Photos by Alyssa Timoteo

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