The perfect balance

5:53 PM

Does the city make you a selfish person? 

Have you ever opened your eyes one morning and realized your priorities slipped out of your hands overnight? That happened to me this morning. The weather is warming up. The days are getting longer. The calls with my mom are shorter. I missed time with my aunt and uncle for an extended bar hop with friends. Time watching soccer has trumped time with relatives. I've started to choose every social opportunity over taking care of my body. I drink for more hours than I run. I forget to text friends back because I'm too busy. I missed my best friends baby shower because somebody was supposed to visit town then bailed at the last minute. I wake up on Monday morning to a messy room and nothing productive accomplished. I'm starting to feel guilty for things I can't control, like not going home for Mother's Day. The "wish you were here" and "hope you can make it" statements are making me grow resentful of this incredible city that I should feel lucky to be a part of. I want to do everything but need to allow myself to do nothing, and I need to be OK with that. Where is the line drawn? How do you find and achieve that perfect balance? 

As much as I love living in New York I'm finding it harder to ground myself. I don't want to miss a single opportunity but my body is starting to suffer. I'm tired all the time and find myself losing focus and becoming overwhelmed easily. I'm thinking the occasional case of FOMO will be the healthier option - but will my happiness suffer?

How do you take a step back and distribute your time without disappointing others? Without feeling regret yourself? 

Sunglasses by Kapten & Son

Photos by Evan Felts

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