The year of 2016 has built a bad reputation to many of us for many reasons. Typically when you're nearing the holiday season, you look back and reflect on the obstacles you've overcome and the changes you've made to progress as a person over the past year. As a single woman getting dangerously close to the daunting age of 30, dating has become more of a priority and less of a game. What I've learned about myself this year? I'm my own worst enemy.
I can list off the men that had perfect boyfriend potential that I completely shut off over the past year because I'm so damn guarded:
There's the selfless and generous lawyer who immediately introduced me to family and friends and said he thought I was the one. There's the creative and stunningly good looking hometown friend who just ran out of things to talk about after he said he was falling in love with me. There's the perfect person with the adorable accent who did say he loved me, but just happened to live on the other side of the world. There's the guy who delivered the perfect first date only to have a drug induced meltdown weeks later followed by a series of obnoxiously offensive text messages. There's the goofy, gorgeous, and intelligent guy who aggressively pursued me only to end up ghosting me. Then coming back. Thennn disappearing again. There's the charming bartender with the exact same taste in music but a completely different schedule and lifestyle as me.
I didn't mention the countless first and second dates over the past year I've been on with truly wonderful men, but I've been subconsciously ruling them out and truly never gave any of them a chance. That's when I realized - there are all these wonderful guys who are totally willing to go to the next level with me - the level I want, but there's always a but.
So as I complain about wanting to settle down, about how picky I am because he's left handed or because he looks in the mirror too much, my biggest enemy is my own mind. As much as I want to settle down, I need to learn how to truly open up again, how to trust again, and eventually, how to love again.
Here's to that happening in 2017.
Top & Pants: H&M
Photos by Alyssa Timoteo